Victim Impact Statement of Carol Vasich
On the loss of her oldest son Greg Vasich 4-9-04
7/5/05
How do I begin to let you know how I have been grieving since my son was killed?
My oldest son, my first born. He was the sunshine of our lives, a happy,
content, joyful, enthusiastic, kind, brilliant, young man. It pains me that he
cannot live out the life he was living so well. He was a careful and just person
who was loved by all and a good friend to countless. His death has affected
many, many lives. Over 1000 people attended his 5 hour wake.
I last saw Greg at 7:30 a.m. the morning of April 8th as he left Naperville for
his full time job as a draftsman in Burr Ridge. He said he would not be home for
dinner because he was meeting a friend in Evanston. He worked a full 8-5 day
before heading to the Northwestern campus for a lecture on cinematography. I
spoke to Greg at 1:10 a.m. on April 9th, asking him where he was. My heart sank
as he said he was still in Evanston, at Burger King, talking with friends.
100 minutes later, my strong, capable, hard working son, Greg, was killed as he
drove his well maintained car, through a green light at an intersection less
than one mile from our home and the family he loved dearly. Greg was in perfect
health and very intuitive. He was brave, tenacious and had a very competitive
personality. Had there been any possibility of a lesser injury, he would have
fought fiercely to live. Instead he was left for dead by Mr. Schoger who did not
get help for my dying son.
I do not feel as though I have lost an arm, hand or leg. I feel as though I have
been torn in half; that my heart is empty. I feel incomplete and ripped apart.
My heart aches for Greg. He died so needlessly. I miss Greg every day and cannot
believe he is not here with us. We are a close family, and his daily absence is
painful. It is a horrible, haunting feeling to not be able to say good bye to
one you love so dearly.
Everyone says it takes time to grieve and takes time to heal. How can one heal
from this tragedy? I cannot come to terms with the reality that Greg is gone.
Day in and day out there is no normal. Every day I have to will myself out of
bed, force myself to complete the daily routine, going through the motions of
life. I am learning to live in a world without Greg and I do not like it. He
should be here. Nine out of ten nights I wake up at 2:35 a.m., the time of the
accident, or 3:05 a.m., when he was pronounced dead, or 3:30 a.m., when the
hospital called. Nothing in my life is as it was. My life has taken off down a
path where I will carry this burden of a lost child for the remainder of my
life.
Our family has changed so much. Greg was an important figure in all of our
lives. We counted on Greg and his advice, and depended on him for so many
things. His four grandparents are in their late 70’s and 80’s. They have
suffered greatly in losing their first grandchild to such a horrific, senseless
accident, but also they have to witness their children and grandchildren suffer
now and forevermore.
Greg was a source of support and encouragement for all of us and a wonderful
role model for his brothers. We have had several memorial prayer services for
Greg and have prepared meals for many friends and family. After all the time
spent gathering photo’s and consoling family and friends, when it is all said
and done, there still is no Greg. Each event that passes is a cutting reminder
that no matter how well we remember and honor his memory, Greg is gone from us
forever. That still takes my breath away. How can that be?
It is incomprehensible that Greg could not live out the life he was so prepared
to begin. Greg would have made a wonderful husband and father. We mourn his lost
children and our lost grandchildren. We mourn for Jenny and feel lost too
without her. After nine years she is no longer our daughter in law to be.
Milt and I can remember a time before children. We have lived in a world without
Greg, but his brothers have not. Greg was the oldest brother and has always been
there in the lives of Mike, Chris and Paul. My sons miss their brother
tremendously and wonder what Greg would have said to them about important events
in their lives. They have suffered his loss daily and especially at their
milestone events. Greg would have helped Chris figure out which college to
attend and gone to his track meets. Greg would have encouraged Paul to do well
in school and would talk to him about jazz on the baritone saxophone. Mike was
looking forward to spending time with his big brother Greg, who he had been
apart from for the past 4 years while Mike attended college in Minnesota. Greg
was not there for Mike’s senior recital, Mike’s college graduation, Chris state
track meet, Chris high school graduation. He was not there to celebrate Paul 8th
grade graduation. He has not been there to attend Mike’s jazz concerts in St.
Paul. He was not there for Jenny’s college graduation only one month after his
death. Greg’s brothers have lost a confidante, an advisor and their biggest fan.
They have lost the Best Man, the uncle, the brother-in-law. Often Chris has said
he is so sad, he does not know how to go on. The one person who could have
helped him through this grief is the very person who is missing.
Since Greg was killed, our lives have dramatically shifted. We have seen a
tremendous change in all of our children. Many people ask us if we have been to
therapy. Yes, we have.
We mourn for the future lost. Greg’s future was promising, having just graduated
from the University of Illinois in December. He was a conscientious, fair minded
student who always did the right thing and with full effort. On a personal
level, we mourn our groom to be, our lost grandchildren, nieces, nephews,
cousins. On a community level, we mourn the loss of a hard working young man
with a keen intellect who with his boundless energy wanted to help others get a
fair shake in life.
I cannot express to you the extent to which I torment myself with what could I
have done differently that would have kept Greg alive? As a parent, I feel
responsible. Could I have said or done something differently that morning he
left for work? I ask myself constantly “Should I have called Greg sooner that
night to come home earlier?” “If I had told him his brother had a track meet
that evening, would he have not gone to Evanston?” “Did he know his cousin had a
jazz concert that night?” “If only he left Northwestern one minute sooner or one
minute later”…. “Did Greg know how much we loved him?”
In reality there is only one person at fault. It is the person who was
joyriding, down 75th Street, knowingly without brakes, who at a very high speed,
demolished our son’s sturdy well cared for vehicle and crushed our healthy,
strong, beautiful son to death by running the red light while high on cocaine.
Killed by Mark Schoger, a man who knowingly drove with no license, no insurance,
no brakes and who was just stopped by the Naperville police for driving on a
suspended license just days before the accident. A man who was convicted of
driving under the influence of cocaine.
We all have holes in our hearts. We cry when we wake up and cry when we go to
sleep. We go through the motions of each day. We have three sons who do not like
to see us sad. We do our best to support each other. It is a horrible feeling to
think my son, Greg, will be forgotten, that his life did not matter, and that
all that he learned and strived for is gone. He was such a hardworking, honest
and generous young man. He should have been able to enjoy his life and continue
bringing joy and laughter into the lives of others. There is nothing that can
bring back Greg. We cannot change the past, but can we can prevent more
tragedies in the future by keeping Mr. Schoger out of a car. I ask you Judge
Anderson, to keep Mr. Schoger off the street. I do not want to have another
father, mother, brother, sweetheart, friend or grandparent to forever suffer the
agony of losing a child in such a preventable, senseless accident.