April 11, 2004

I don't know when Ryan and Greg became acquainted, and I can't define the moment when they became friend's. I don't know if the friendship evolved from Lincoln to Central, or if there were defining moments that sparked the friendship. I do know that during high school I grew to know Greg very well, and  during his time at U of I, and afterwards, our time together was always precious.

Sometime in early high school the group began cooking Monday night dinners at our house. Their early years included a bag of chips and a batch of Rice-a-Roni served with brats, hamburgers, or steaks; their menus expanded to entrées like couscous, sushi, and fried rice. Their tastes and their cooking skills grew and even became discriminating and the addition of the girls to the  mix of cooking was fun to watch because often the girls sat back and snacked on veggies while the production of watching the guys cook was like a spectator event.

This group of young people expanded and contracted and kept pace with their personal relationships through high school and college. They dressed up for dances and events together in high school; they watched movies, shared music, played together, celebrated acceptance and worked through rejections. They critiqued applications for school, and anticipated going away with the planning and preparation for separations and grew together again with each holiday and the return to their families.

They have brought their new college friends home to meet  beloved family and friends in Naperville, and they have soaked up the cultural offering of our community. Downtown trips to jazz concerts, museum exhibits, events,  have been opportunities for sharing their love of music, beauty and of information.  (Note that I didn't add their love of sports here! These kids pursued academics, culture and intelligence with the fervor that some pursue athletics!)

During the last nine years  I have grown to know and love this awesome group of young people. They have challenged each other to greater heights than any of them might have attained alone. Their discussions, often about local or national issues and world events have sometimes been heated, with no rancor, but with each individual contributing their own special view to their close community.

Greg has been in the center of everything that is good about whom these people have become.

Greg always arrived with a smile, and a huge hug. He was the only one of Ryan's friends to sit and talk with John and Angie about sports. Since Angie is in sports marketing that was an important connection for her, and a connection that none of Ryan's friends share. I can see  Greg and John or Greg  and Angie sitting in the family room watching some sport event while Greg's friends were all in some other area of the house. While Ryan was at Penn, Greg told him when the Penn teams were doing something significant; otherwise Ryan would have been oblivious to those athletic activities. We always talked the sport of the season and Greg always new the score or the latest news tidbit.

Greg was inclusive of the people who were the outsiders,. When someone brought a new friend into the mix, Greg was the one to engage that friend in conversation until they were comfortable.

Greg honored each individual's talents and gifts, and encouraged each person to grow their own direction, And. when that direction faltered or dead-ended; he encouraged and made honest recommendations and did lots of active listening.

Greg took time.

Greg treasured his family. He talked with love and joy about all of you; he told stores of family vacations, of special family events, and of the importance of taking time together.

I have favorite images of Greg. I can see him sitting at our kitchen table, with Jenny close by, and I can see the kitchen filled with people, last Christmas or last Thanksgiving; a mass of humanity cooking, laughing , and carrying on. John and I came in from somewhere. Greg disregarded all of the chaos to talk, to ask about business, about us, to check on us.

I can see Greg going out to the hot tub one of the last times I saw him, He really liked the hot tub!

I can see Greg thoroughly enjoying a hunk of meat while Ryan was in his Vegan phase.

I can see Greg sitting in almost every room of our house; listening to music, eating meals, drinking key root beer watching movies, but always laughing. Always smiling, always being the best of the best.

And, I can see Greg as he was just a short time ago, he was at our house; the group was going to Purdue to see Jenny, we talked about Minneapolis, about how many options there were for Greg in Minneapolis, about some of the things we like about Minnesota. And, we talked about how close it is from Minneapolis to our lake house, and how we would finally get to have Greg and Jenny at the lake.

I have great faith; I believe in eternal life, and so I do believe that Greg is in a better place. And, I believe that we will sometime see him again; that he will be among our loved ones that will welcome each of us when our time on earth is over. So my prayers are not for Greg, by my prayers are for you, for his mom, his dad, his very precious brothers, and for Jenny, whose presence in his life was by choice, not by birth. My prayers of course encompass Ryan, Joe, Annie, Steph, Mike, Mary Lee, Drew, and all of those other young people from school and from here who grieve now. l am  including some special prayers for Mike, Chris and Paul, that they may each, during their life, have friends who provide the network of support and love that is Greg's legacy to his friends.

I am very sorry for your loss.

Debra Burg